Where the Rubber Meets the Road

Ding, Ding, Ding...look no further, for we have found, without doubt, the ultimate "car guy."

While many can claim that they have be interested in cars since early childhood or even have a passion for the automotive industry, I am sorry to say that they will likely bow out to the mechanic recently featured in an article by the UK's The Sun. Apparently, Chris Donald of Great Britain, loves his work so much as a mechanic, that he, in a matter of speaking, likes to "take it home." Put another way, this mechanic likes to have sex with cars.

When I first saw some of the auto blogs and Digg pick up this story, I simply didn't believe it and in the interest of keeping this a family-oriented, motorhead-type of online publication, resisted the temptation to include it in our coverage. After reading the articles, however, and seeing some additional (related) stories come out of the respective woodwork (read closets), I decided that this type of behavior needs to be well-documented for any parents with overactive imaginations who might be wondering why their son or daughter likes to sleep in the garage.

Chris claims to have had sex with approximately 30 vehicles over the last 20 years and has even started a website to, I guess, inform or reach out to the other 500 or so blokes who he claims share the same interest. Judging from the included images (though I can't bring myself to search for any more), Chris goes for all makes and "models," apparently without discriminating based on a car's color. He has gone for Germans, Italians, French, British, and even American.

Some of the more alarming information that inevitably accompanies this type of story comes in the form of comments and somewhat related incidents. Chris has a girlfriend of the human variety, for example. What must she think when he says he is just "going out for a drive?" Or the fact that there have been other strange fetishes where individuals choose to make nice with other inanimate objects. (The story mentions one electrician from 1993 who was jailed for skipping the vehicle altogether and just going straight for the road.)

Mr. Donald attributes his affliction, in part, with a particularly strong crush he had as a child on Kit from Knight Rider. How many additional ways can David Hasselhoff possibly find to impregnate the delicate social fabric of our society? Were it not for such good hair, I would think he would be sticking another feather in his cap as we speak.

Now, I will be the first to admit that we have written here about the similarities of the human figure to those features on a car and even the closely related responsibilities of the mechanic vs. doctor, but when you consider that the guy has also had the hots for a couple of boats and a jetski, I don't feel so bad.

To read more, click here and here.

And please feel free to choose or add your own moniker to the subject, just about all of the following apply:

"Nuts and bolts"
"Bumper Humper"
"Testa Rossa"
"Tie Rods and Ball Joints"
"Wrench Fetish"
"Speed Bump"
"Backseat Driver"
"Whips with Whips"
"Flush and a Tug"
"Pipe dope"
"Two for Tailgating"
"Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear"
"Curb Appeal"
"Flatbed Quickie"
"Gearhead"
"Mustang Sally"

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