Thanks for Nothing, Forbes

In an impromptu contest not that unlike the popular weight loss reality show, Forbes Auto recently published their list of "Automotive Turkeys" for 2006. For those unfamiliar with this dubious distinction (or the host of strange lists Forbes compiles), this group of vehicles represents those with the single largest year-over-year sales decline, though you may be surprised by who is on it.

The title of Automotive Turkeys may be deceiving because many, in fact, all of the cars on the list are certainly appealing in their own right and the unfortunate fact that they have made this year's list is testament to not only the fickle (yet voracious) appetite of the average automotive buyer, but also the complexities and marketing pitfalls that face anyone with a car to peddle, err...sell.

The list is not heavy on the side of one particular segment or price point. And while it is normal for sales to decline once it is apparent that a particular model is approaching the end of its lifecycle (or the self-serve sundae station of an all-you-can-eat buffet), this list demonstrates that this is not the sole reason for sales demise. Technical issues and change in consumer behavior or company direction are also represented.

For example, the Porsche Boxster saw an annual decline of over 40%, but was first introduced in the 1997 model year, so it is logical that this far along it would see a decline, especially with the introduction of the Cayman hardtop variant. Compare this with higher volume (but similar percentage) sales decline of the Dodge Durango (97,881 to 60,349) that saw a model overhaul just three years ago, and it is obvious they aren't exactly comparing Big Macs to Big Macs.

Not surprisingly, the SUV segment claimed several more than one victim with three others (4 of 11 total) getting the collective "bird" from consumers this year. At the opposite end of the range both in cost and sales numbers is the Mercedes-Benz G-Class or "Gelaendewagen." With sales through October of only 534 units vs. 1,088 last year, this is certainly a niche player or more Cornish Game Hen than outright turkey. At nearly 25 years in production, the fact that they still sell any of these ($80,000 MSRP) and that they are still so desirable is miraculous and hardly deserving of any judgment by Forbes.

In the closely related mini-van category is the Buick Terrazza, which never really got off the launch pad and has never flown off dealer lots. The Buick saw a decrease in sales of 40% to just over 10,500, which is somewhat understandable when you consider that the van is really the Chevrolet Uplander with the added weight of looking, sounding, and in fact, being more expensive. Unremarkable numbers for an unremarkable car.

Some of the other vehicles rounding out the list are the Mazda RX-8 with some well-documented technical problems, the completely misunderstood Chrysler Crossfire and the Kia Amanti that really just speaks for itself. The one manufacturer to place more than one vehicle on the list is Jaguar with both the X-Type and venerable flagship XJ Series.

Funny thing about Jaguar is that the company has done quite well as of late in categories other than sales, which of course, don't particularly matter. For instance, the company has a very high initial customer satisfaction rate and one of the highest rated Certified Pre-Owned Programs. (Maybe Jaguar also has the customers who seem to change their minds the fastest)

The ill-conceived, executed, and received X-Type will no doubt go down as a classic failed foray into an area a brand didn't belong, though the poor crash test ratings probably didn't help the cause, making this "Jaguar" the automotive equivalent of an illegitimate child. The XJ however, is widely regarded as one of the most potent and luxurious cars in its category. With one small recall issue, ok not small, this is one of the bigger surprises on the list. Let's hope the damage to the Jaguar image caused by the X-Type isn't contagious.

As you can clearly see, this list is misleading as each vehicle pretty much has its own reason for being there. And when you are trying to compare unit sales of 100,000 at one end to less than 1,000 at the other, well, there isn't much point.

One thing that is clear however, is that in the automotive world (with the exception of maybe the Porsche 911), all good product runs must come to an end. It would be nice if companies stopped the bleeding at the first sign of decline like a wise pro athlete hanging them up while still at the top of their game. But unfortunately, profits rule and as long as there is an appetite, they keep on turning them out until they need to do the mid-cycle "refresh" or upgrade to prolong feast as long as possible.

Seconds anyone?