Roughly 60 people showed up recently for a gathering in Yorktown, NY to tout and talk about their respective successes (and occasional misses) with vegetable oil-powered vehicles. Dubbed "Greasestock," the event was said to celebrate three days of "Grease, Pork and Peace." Although I am quite certain if you asked the pigs, they might have a bone or two to pick with the peace part (sorry, you stand them up and I'll mow them down).
Anyway, not long ago such a gathering would have been seen as odder than a football bat, or enough to give even the guys at Greenpeace or Sierra Club the "willies." Today, however, eco-congregations are near commonplace and are as much about making ends meet as they are about bark bussing. With today's price of Regular (and the summer's anticipated levels), simply emptying the frialator behind the dumpster feels, well, downright wrong.
When Rudolf Diesel first put together his compression engine back in the 1890's, he really wasn't even considering his namesake fuel, as it wasn't exactly available down at the corner store. The original designs, in fact, were built around burning oils, including that derived from vegetables. (Unlike gasoline engines, Diesel was developing an internal combustion engine, which did not require a spark, but rather uses high compression to ignite fuel.)
Vegetable oil never became a staple for automation, in part because it doesn't hold the same amount of latent energy as fuels like gasoline, diesel or ethanol. The one thing it has always had going for it, however, it that it's cheap to produce (or procure, as the case may be). This means it becomes particularly attractive during any period that ExxonMobil's quarterly profit surpasses the GDP of small, developed countries.
One thing I doubt Rudy ever anticipated was the interesting smell phenomenon associated with the burning of vegetable oils. Today's oil burners often give their fuel a fair amount of love, what with all the collecting, filtering and storage. This exposure makes them keenly aware of their odors, but it doesn't take a specialist to know when you're behind one in traffic.
When overcome by the pungent odor of nachos and a salivating palette, most drivers check their mirrors for Tito's Tacos or other fast food establishments. While doing 70 down the highway, though, or cruising along the countryside in the middle of nowhere, you can bet there is a car with twin tanks in the immediate vicinity.
Greasers do produce some emissions, but not the levels of more traditional fuels, so this by-product really is more of a novelty than anything else. As more people adopt veggie conversions, I think you will see more inventive restaurateurs jumping on the bio-bandwagon. Think of it, the opportunities only begin with selling off your used oil.
For one thing, the trend could revolutionize the food industry's advertising. Soon the day will come when delivery men exclusively drive oil-powered cars filled with "flavored" fuels, making your neighborhood smell like the inside of a pizza box or the sweat of your local Schezuan chef (incidentally, greasers generally concur that Chinese joints offer "hit or miss" fuel, but that Italian eateries tend to consistently generate some real "high octane juice").
The fuels may have a military application as well. One could drive trucks appropriately equipped with choice oil along the northern or southern borders to coax out illegal immigrants from their foxholes. I don't care how hot or cold you are, no one can resist Krispy Kreme.
Really, the commercial possibilities are endless. Think of what it could do for BBQ tailgating and RV parks, or future food products like Bumper Bacon and Nascarpone cheese. If combustion is really just the automotive equivalent of digestion, then we may even see an eventual merge between food and car manufacturers (General Mills & Motors?).
Unfortunately, there may be some drawbacks to our newfound love of Crisco. Merely following a Jetta that has filled up at one of the major fast food chains for more than an exit or two could lead to clogged arteries. Additionally, experts have concluded that some of the most widely consumed fast foods have addictive properties. I can easily envision a sort of "enviro-rage," where drivers are dangerously scrambling to get behind a Microbus with a bumper sticker that reads "Happy Meals for Happy Wheels."
Therefore, adoption of this new old technology must be calculated and managed. Who better to handle that than the federal government? I can't think of a better initiative to bring together the Right, who traditionally like to handle all things oil-related, and the Left, who tend to drive Volkswagens.


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